If you’ve been married long enough to pass the honeymoon phase, you know maintaining a relationship can be hard – especially when you feel you aren’t being heard or if you’ve begun to communicate through a series of screaming matches. So how can you keep calm and enjoy the relationship God created just for you?
There are several things to keep in mind when it comes to relationships. It’s important to do so much that it is very easy to forget there is an entirely different list of things not to do.
Not doing things is just as important as doing things – so what should you refrain from?
Before you see your spouse again, take a moment to review the following 5 rules of things you should NEVER do:
NEVER stop praying for your spouse
If you have a partner who never helps around the house or always complains, it’s important to speak to them about the issue – then pray for them in private.
Whether they know you’re praying for them or not doesn’t matter. What matters is you are praying for patience for yourself and understanding for your partner.
The worst thing you can do is assume you’ve done all you can and give up.
NEVER stop praising your spouse
Sometimes you want to pull out your hair and scream at the top of your lungs – but practice a little self-control and instead think of how God sees your spouse.
What are your spouse’s good points? What initially piqued your interest about them? What are your favorite mannerisms and facial expressions? What are some of the nice things they’ve said to you?
Think about these things and, even when you’re angry, say something nice to your love.
This doesn’t mean your spouse has the right to walk all over you, but having a conversation with positive side comments is significantly healthier than an argument filled with words you don’t really mean, or regret you admitted.
Whether your partner is at their best or at their worst, speak only positive words and keep your composure. You can even share why you’ve chosen to speak with love rather than anger. Watch how quickly anger dissipates.
NEVER hold past transgressions against them
The thing to remember here is that past mistakes are literally history. They happened before but the incident has passed. If it requires closure, the time to tlak about it is within a reasonable amount of time from the occurrence, not three years – or even three months – later.
Bringing up past mistakes does nothing to help present situations. It may sound like you’re building a case against your partner, but the bottom line is that today’s problems need to be fixed today, not three weeks from now.
Holding a grudge is harmful to your state of mind and to your relationship. Don’t build a wall between yourself and your spouse. Build a doorway and walk through it together.
NEVER stop supporting them
Whether you are struggling with school, work, children or simply want to take up a new hobby, having the person you love the most supporting you is among the best feelings in the world.
Married couples are two connected beings who should help each other accomplish their dreams and reach their goals – no matter how silly or impossible they may seem.
It takes guts to go after something. The least you can do for your partner is support their decision.
NEVER stop communicating
Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, regardless of its nature.
NEVER stop talking about your issues, your hopes, your goals or your faith. This simple communication is the foundation of your relationship with your spouse.
If you find conversations with your loved one constantly focus on negative topics, it’s time to make a change. Never stop trying to be open and honest with each other. It is only through honesty and full disclosure that a couple can discover insecurities and chinks in the armor of love their marriage created.
No one changes over night, so start your day with a prayer for strength, patience and support from God. Pray for your spouse and for yourself to start your day with hope for positive change.
By Kenya Sinclair