Follow usTwitterFacebook


08 Dec 2015 Articles No comments

The Origin of Advent Wreath

The Advent wreath is part of our long-standing Catholic tradition. Also, families, especially those with young children, can incorporate the Advent wreath light…

Read more

30 Jul 2016 News No comments

Pope: ‘In welcoming the outcast, our credibility as Christians is at stake’

Holy Father urges youth to follow Jesus's Way of the Cross through works of mercy By embracing the hunger, thirst and loneliness of others, young people can to…

Read more

22 Jul 2016 Articles Comments (2)

Receiving the Sacraments After Divorce and Remarriage

I recently got a call at Catholic Answers from a woman who had fallen away from the Church many years ago but had come back home after watching EWTN and listeni…

Read more

07 Jul 2016 Articles Comments (2)

Are There Cults in the Catholic Church?

A friend of mine is a school principal, a job that often requires the skills of a seasoned diplomat. He must balance the desires of students, parents, teach…

Read more

28 Jan 2016 Articles Comments (1)

Gnosticism Is All Around Us

I once gave a lecture in a Northwestern diocese—up in the morning, back to San Diego in the afternoon, the entire trip taking only ten hours—and came away…

Read more

20 Sep 2016 Articles Comments (2)

7 powerful morning prayers you need to get your day started with God

Rise and shine - the great morning awaits all of God's children. This may be a well-known fact ... not everyone is a morning person. Some people really strug…

Read more

06 Nov 2016 News No comments

Authorities on high alert - Al-Qaeda plans attacks to thwart U.S. elections

U.S. authorities believe terror group al-Qaeda is plotting attacks in three states on election day. According to CBS News, unnamed sources revealed al-Qaeda …

Read more

24 Dec 2015 Europe News Vatican No comments

Pope Francis named "Charlemagne Prize Winner"

Pope Francis has been selected as the Charlemagne Annual award winner for 2016 for bringing “a message of hope and encouragement” to Europe in a time of uncerta…

Read more

05 Sep 2015 News USA No comments

Holy See expresses cautious support for UN development goals

The Holy See on Tuesday expressed its “strong support” for the 2030 United Nations development agenda, but added it has “firm reservations” about some items in …

Read more
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3

Can Infatuation ever yield to a Holy Marriage; must we be in-love ?

Love is beautiful as well as those emotions and passions which accompany it. I decided to separately treat the case of true love and infatuation because it may make the previous discourse more difficult. It is important to understand how the human heart works (by heart I do not mean the organ but the “heart” which is used to metaphorically speak of the soul, as when you say “with all my heart I believe/love). The primordial fall introduced three principal disorders in man, viz. (i) the disorder in communion between man and God, (ii) between man and the rest of creation and (iii) ‘between’ man and himself. This last one is the reason for the many “malfunctions” we perceive in us. Many things went wrong in man, which the Grace of the Lord Jesus Christ has come to heal. Our perceptions deceive us, we cherish and trust the wrong people, we purchase fake products, and we mistake someone for another person, to name but a few.

I firmly believe that true love is love for the PERSON, not love for a quality in the person. You cannot love him because he is fair, classy, rich, and intelligent. However, these things may help strengthen the love we have for people, but they must never be the primary bases of our love for them. When love bases itself primarily on a quality, it is not true love. Again, some fall in love with an experience they had of a person rather than the person. He fell in love “at first sight” when he saw her smile and wave a friend goodbye; that instant he feels “she’s perfect”. Yet others’ loves are actually prompted only by sex drives, nothing else is of greater importance than the body; sexual attraction is to them the ultimate. What happens when she stops smiling? What happens when she is too old for sex? Does love die then?

All these things are good (experience we have with people, sex etc), when kept in their right places. The mistake we often make is not having any of these feelings and thoughts. Of course, there should be something about your fiancée you love; her smile, laugh, voice, step etc. I believe that if there is nothing like this in you, then maybe you are not in love at all, because these things renew the love we have within our hearts. The problem rather is that we absolutize the wrong things; we make mere servants our lords.

Our take-home is that whenever our love is impersonal or based on some fleeting feeling; something changeable, then we are not in love at all. Infatuation builds itself on something fleeting; something momentary; something changeable. True love on the other hand is built upon something somewhat immutable; a person. Much as we rightly say a person changes, however it is his qualities that change, and no one or two qualities in him is him. So the bottom line is when we love qualities in a person, we are not loving the person for the person but for what the person possesses and this is the mistake.

With Fulton Sheen, I believe that we all carry a sample of our loves in our hearts. So that when we see the “Right One”, we go “That’s it!” Nothing can equal Love. But infatuation breeds disturbance and unease. Immaturity is the primary cause of being infatuated. Some jump into relationships before they are mature enough for such; before they are old enough and ready to be married. Jumping into relationships causes great danger to the emotional development of people, as it may stunt the full development of a person’s emotional life. What is a primary/secondary school girl/boy doing with a lover? Good God! This is disturbing. These are the people who in future find marriage unhappy; they are also the people who find fidelity difficult. God cannot be mocked, everything has its own time; stretch it beyond its point, and someone gets hurt. I do not wish to discuss this further as I have not written this book for children.


Leave a Reply

  1. most read post
  2. Most Commented
  3. Choose Categories