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If my daughter refuses to go to Mass, am I guilty of mortal sin?

Full Question

Is it my mortal sin to let my 12-year-old daughter stay home from Mass? I know that she cannot receive Communion until she goes to confession, but as her parent, does that mean I have to go to confession because she chooses to not attend?


I fear for your daughter if she has a parent that allows her to parent herself. What are you thinking? She is a child. You are the adult. You call the shots. Her missing Mass should not be your sin because it should not happen. Tell her that you are the parent: What you say goes and any disobedience by her will have consequences. And then make sure that such consequences happen. Don’t argue with her: Tell her. You are her parent, and it is your vocation to teach her. You do her no favors by letting her behave badly. You need to put her welfare ahead of your desire for peace at any cost.



  1. Margarett C. Zavodny Reply

    You did not answer the question. It obviously has happened; the child has certainly committed mortal sin, but has the mother?

  2. Susan Reply

    I don’t agree with this answer. My mother was a God fearing, and attended Church every Sunday. I chose not to go to Church anymore when I was approx. 12 yrs of age. I made up my own mind, went to confession, and returned to the church a couple of years later. Since then, I’ve been through ALL the sacraments, with the exception of my funeral.

  3. Rush Reply

    I don’t think you should force her to go. She will start hating it and eventually lead to her becoming an atheist or joining another religion. Instead try to convince her of the importance of mass

  4. Madhuri Reply

    Why will it be going to church a problem anyways. Parent rite is to care for their children and if they don’t come to church have rite to tell them its a rule and must attend. Why will they hate , if someone is hating to attend its false in their minds.. They need to change their mind. Either they can not hear what good priest is teaching them. If in teenage person doesnt attend church i dnt think that person will be having a good heart n mind in future. My mother used to stop talking with us for days, if we miss even a day mass in mornings. Though we attended sunday friday and saturday mass.. But for us it was must to attend everyday mass early in morning 6. I never felt bad about that. Attending mass everysunday is must and it should be that must as of our intake of oxygen.

  5. annie Reply

    As the mother of four children ranging in age from 26 to 12, I agree one-hundred percent with this common sense answer. There are many things that a youngster of twelve would prefer not to do. Things that might include: going to a physician’s appointment, a dental appointment, a salon appointment . A twelve year old might even NOT wish to attend school at times. GOD the father has given authority to parents to raise them up according to HIS plan. Every Catholic is bound to offer the Lord, at a minimum, one hour per week at Holy Mass every Sunday. To not attend Mass is a mortal sin: information which I have lovingly but firmly provided to my own offspring. Stand firm as a parent and act with the loving authority which God has conferred on you as a parent. God bless you !

  6. Donia Reply

    I absolutely agree with Annie’s comments above. Children do not know what is good and bad for them. We force them to go to school even if they do not want to, we force them to sit and study for exams even when they want to spend time sitting in front of the computer, why then only when it comes to religious matters, which should be the most important, we want them to do what they want.

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