Everybody is doing it:
Wrong. Even if the sitcoms, commercials, music, and a lot of people you know are having sex, many still are not. The statistics say most people have sex before marriage, but that still doesn’t mean it is good for any of them, is the right thing to do, or that there are no consequences.
It is no big deal:
We all know this is a lie, but think of the last romantic comedy you saw. Very few depict the emotional issues, broken hearts/relationships, failures at intimacy, chances of getting pregnant, or an STD. If sex is not a “big deal”, then why is so much emphasis given to it?
Love = Sex:
These two things can be related, but aren’t always. In fact, if you think of the hook-up culture, it has nothing to do with sex. Neither does porn. If love is choosing what is best for the other person, despite what it might cost me, then sex can be part of that, but only in the right context (marriage).
If we aren’t having intercourse, it isn’t really “sex”:
Many young people tell themselves that they are really only having “sex” if it is intercourse. This isn’t the case. Sex includes many different kinds of acts. But, if there is sexual arousal involved, it is a kind of sexual activity.
As long as we aren’t having intercourse, it isn’t wrong:
Building on the last lie, there are too many who tell themselves that what they are doing isn’t wrong as long as it isn’t intercourse. But, we don’t determine right and wrong. If you doubt it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage, this might help.
Porn doesn’t hurt anyone:
Porn is a great way to learn how to have good sex:
Actually, porn is a good way to learn how to have a miserable sex life. It teaches, promiscuity, diminished fidelity and trust, and is a fantasy world where sex is everything there is. That is just a part of the issues it brings.
Only losers don’t have sex:
Losers like JPII, Mother Teresa, and others? Do you really want to sink this low? Now we look silly.
All physical contact is bad:
On the flip of the coin is the lie that kissing someone else or even giving a big hug to someone will incite lust and should always be avoided. If this is the case, there are deeper issues. But, not all physical contact is wrong.
Once you get married all your sexual dreams become reality:
This is widely (and quietly) held assumption I have encountered in young people who have sexual struggles before marriage. They think marriage will mean sex without limits. But, this is merely fantasy world.
If you have a porn problem, getting married will fix it:
Too many believe marriage will help them overcome sexual problems, when in fact, it will probably just magnify them. A lack of self-control means you have a problem. Marriage can’t fix that.
Women don’t really care about sex:
Wrong. While the average woman may not have the sexual drive the average man does, we shouldn’t think that women are asexual. That would be a problem.
Sex is no big deal:
Look at all the issues, problems, and relevant topics that are mentioned above. You still want to buy into this lie?
Sex is like all other big sins:
Is it? Check out what the Bible says about sexuality and how we treat our bodies before you answer.
Porn is not a big deal:
If that were the case, then it isn’t a big deal to not use it either, correct? Nor would we have all the problems associated with it that have been discussed in other places.
A man wants sex and a woman wants emotional intimacy – but will give sex to get it:
There is a partial truth with this statement, But, that means there is also a lie with it too. The lie is that every man and woman fall into this kind of thinking. We aren’t robots.
You won’t know if you are “sexually compatible” if you wait until marriage:
If you have only had sex with one person and learned to have sex with them, wouldn’t that be what compatibility is? Sexual incompatibility means you are selfish and won’t sacrifice for someone you say you love.
There is no hope after you mess up sexually:
Wrong. God will never stop loving you. You can’t make Him stop. But, He can’t forgive you if you hold onto your sins.
I can stop looking at porn whenever I want:
Maybe. Maybe not. Try not looking for 3 months. See if you don’t like your life better. See if you are able to stop.
Sex is about pleasure and pleasure is life:
If this is true, then our culture is the most enlightened of all time. If not, then we have really messed up the meaning to life and what will bring us true happiness.