Can a penitent give the priest permission to discuss what was said in the confessional? Specifically, could I allow him to use a situation I confessed as an example in a homily or in everyday conversation if he does not reveal my name? Also, does the seal of confession hold even after the death of the penitent?
No, one may not give the priest permission to break the seal. But you can discuss the matter with him outside of confession, and then he could talk about that conversation.
The seal holds even after the death of the penitent.