Avoid Premarital Sex:
Remember sex can make splitting up difficult, can impede clear judgement, etc. Some people out of guilt or lust marry the wrong people. Guilt because they do no know how to leave someone they’ve slept with, and lust because they do not know how to leave someone they consider “good” in bed.
I feel like most potential couple spend so much energy on sex that they forget there will come a time when the fires of these passions might become dim, or one of the spouses might become incapable of sex because of health or some other reasons. But if you have spent time, and you should, working on your friendship and joint interest, you’ll discover that adding physical intimacy after marriage binds you even close together.
The statistics prove it – there is a much higher chance of a successful marriage if you don’t ever have premarital sex.
Well this is a no brainer. Cheating on your spouse almost definitely guarantees the end of marital bliss even when the other couple forgives the cheater.
Cheating in this context goes even further than engaging in any extra marital sexual activity but also any form of illicit relationship even non-sexual ones. I believe that simply texting sexual suggesting messages with others is cheating.
Watching porn, whist not considered cheating is technically the same thing since it means gratifying oneself sexually with someone else albeit using the media. Pornography can definitely ruin a marriage even when both couples indulge. It can damage your love life and make the couple grow weary of each other.
Don’t over drink, don’t use drugs.
This doesn’t need any explanations. Drinking too much or using drugs means keeping common sense ‘in a cage’ most times and can birth a range of irrational actions and decisions.
Enter for the right reasons:
A lot of people marry for the wrong reasons. Depending on where you live, a close observation of your culture will reveal the most popular reasons people marry. I have known people to marry simply because they do not want to be the “odd” ones left out in their group of friends. If you marry for any such superficial reasons you are probably going to be unhappy and this means your marriage probably won’t last.
Marry for love, marry someone who prays like you, who can help you grow.
One of the reasons couples drift is they stop working hard to communicate better, continually creating better conflict resolution methods that are effective. Learn and continue learning what your partner likes, as our likes change as we grow older. Learn what they think, what they dream of etc. Most couples who communicate very effectively stick together since they rarely have any unresolved issues that could compound and cause them to split up in the future.
Work vs Marriage
Work hard to be rich, but know the limits. Draw a boundary so your work does not separate you from your spouse. Create as much time as possible for your work but your marriage should always remain at the top of your priority list.
The family must pray together, attend Sunday masses together and encourage each other (not coerce) to go to confession and communion. Any family where the parents are regular communicants who understand the Church and the value of the Sacraments, God is at their center so it is hard for the enemy to drive them apart. So no matter the storm that visits them or the wind that thrusts temptations against this spiritual structure, God shields them from irreparable collapse.
Love, be selfless, etc.
Whenever we do very selfless things for others we are indirectly benefiting from them beginning with the joy God immediately gives our hearts. When this love and selflessness is for your marital partner you are creating a love-atmosphere where you can happily live and bring in offspring if God so wills. Creating a happy home through selfless acts ensures a longer life, better health and mentally balanced children.
Always discuss your decisions, don’t be a lone ranger in your marriage. Do little things to make the other smile, don’t wait for anniversaries or birthdays for little surprises. Speak positively about the other even when they’re not there. Even in your own heart, always speak well of them. Spend more time with your spouse than your friends and try to bring your spouse along to your hangouts.
Do not let anything, even your children cause you to forget your spouse. Spending time with your children is absolutely wonderful, but you have to find some balance. The love you have for your children is beautiful, but they also need to share in the joint love between you and your spouse. So if the latter dies, the former also suffers.
Learn to grow and change, work hard to be better.
Be friends with and connect with other Christian couples who share your Values and your faith. This helps keep your eyes focused on what’s important in your marital life and also provides support in tumultuous times. Such support groups are wonderful and can help couples deal with all kinds of disputes and issues.