Is it sinful to date a seminarian?
Question:
Is it okay or sinful to date a seminarian, even though there’s no sex?
Answer:
Yes, it is sinful since this could actually become a stumbling block in his response to the call to priesthood. I have seen a number of people have issues because they are attached to a girl, sometimes they don’t know how to break free and most times this negatively interferes with their discernment process. So yes, it is sinful to be in this sort of relationship.
Another thing to consider is, why are you dating at all? If you are not dating someone for marriage, what is the point of the relationship to begin with? It can only dispose one to temptations or inordinate thoughts. Seeking exclusive relationship with someone should be only for marriage.
No vocation is an end-in-itself, but all a means to reach God and do his will on earth. Each vocation, no matter how wonderful the outward appearance becomes horrendous when they prevent us from discerning and doing the will of God. Anything at all that derails one from finding their vocation on earth and consequently finding the peace and fulfillment that comes with it is evil.
So, you have to understand that the search for our “happily ever after”, isn’t a matter of passive feeling or infatuation. Nor is it on some meaningless “crush”, it is a very grave thing. So, whilst i can say that preventing anyone from finding their calling is sinful (no matter the vocation), i can also say that everyone needs a spiritual director especially when trying to enter this initial discernment. Maybe what you have isn’t love, if it prevents another party from being fulfilled. Maybe it is love, but disordered or misdirected. Whatever it be, it can become dangerous when not properly guided. So, talk to someone if you feel something for a seminarian or a priest or any clergy or married person. This is not good at all and needs to be dealt with before it hurts someone or damages a life.
Sometimes one gets their real calling late . While at the seminary one is preparing to serve . The Lord may very well deuce that he has other plans for you . I know people who were seminarians and are now happily married with children all raised in the catholic faith . They have maintained the friends they made while in the seminary and there appears to be a wonderful relationship. The response given to the question as to whether it is a sin to date a seminarian does not take in consideration the feelings of the seminarian .. he is also willing to date so … do not blame on one person as one who lures . What sin has been committed ? Friendship ? One who is in the seminary and says no to such close friendship .. one that he knows is meant to be more than platonic is a man who God has certainly chosen to do his work in “the religious field”… better to be aware of one’s calling early than too late when one has already taken vows of celibacy and chastity…
I met my wife when I was in the seminary. We have been married 14 years with three kids and hoping for more. When focusing on prayer and discernment sometimes God gives you an answer you were not expecting. I don’t recommend it be taken lightly, but it can happen.
What if the seminarian is the one who wants to date? It may be a sign that the seminarian isn’t disposed to celibacy.