My brother wants to get "married" and adopt children: What do I do?

By November 17, 2014 11 Comments

Full Question

I have a gay brother who has fallen from the faith. He has dated several guys over the last few years and wants to get “married” and adopt children in the future. I’m pretty certain that if I tell him I don’t support him, it will ruin our relationship and create problems within the family. What should I do?


If you were attracted to a married woman and were in love with her, would you choose her over obeying the Lord or would you choose the Lord over her? It all boils down to how much we love him, doesn’t it? He chose nothing over us. He willingly spent himself on us to the point of dying. This is the conversation you need to have with your brother. You both are in my prayers.


  • Keith Petrvs says:

    It is important to let your brother know, however that you love him either way and support him. You can be a good catholic and a good brother at the same time even if that means having differing opinions on morality.
    The answer you received above doesn’t really help you and if anything hinders your relationship. Sure, you should talk to your brother about faith but if he had found a different path it is up to God to judge him, not you or me.
    Christ taught more about love than dismissal, remember that.

    • Toni says:

      I agree with Keith wholeheartedly.

    • Dante Manreal says:

      Pure love means telling the loved one the Truth. It is up to him to accept the truth or not, but you have the duty to point them to the truth.
      Tell your brother as lovingly as you can that homosexual relations are wrong. He can take your counsel or reject it. It is up to him.

  • Liz says:

    You will always love your brother but supporting him is wrong. Your love for your brother or anyone for that matter, shouldn’t be put to the test if you have different opinions/believes. What happened to I love you no matter what? I love you but I don’t believe what you are doing is right. The love that you and God has for him doesn’t change. Your brother’s disobedience has nothing to do with the love that you have for him or God has for him. We all have free will but can’t manipulate other people’s salvation because we want to fulfill our disorderly desires using the love that we have for eachother.

  • jarma says:

    What would you do if you had a sister who wanted to wed and raise children in a different faith?
    Why is there such an issue of homosexuality?
    According to Christian tenants, all men are sinners and all sin is the same, so in gods eyes, homosexuals raising children are no more sinful than you.
    The reason redemption cannot be earned, the reason it is a gift, is because you would be giving to receive if you obeyed. There would ne no sincerity.
    Dont worry so much about other people. In the last thousand years alone there have been billions and billions of Gods children who were born, lived, died, and never even heard of Christianity.
    This is a simple issue.
    You feel you cannot support anyone living differently than yourself.
    Your brother probably already knows you arent behind him.
    But the question is,
    Do you love your brother
    Or do you love what you want him to be?
    Your brother does not have an obligation to you to live as a Christian.
    The majority of people on earth do not.
    Tell me though,
    Is he a good person?
    Is he compassionate?
    Does he care for others?
    Does he help people he sees in need?
    Does he love you even though you have chosen a different path than him?
    Earth is big.
    People choose different faiths. Different ways of life. To love someone is to love who they are, not who you think they should be.
    If he manages to live a compassionate and caring life, even without Christ, then he is probably a better person than most.
    He doesnt need to be a Christian for you to love him.
    He doesnt need to be a Christian for you to support him.
    Trust your heart. Your heart, not your head is how God speaks through you.
    If your heart loves him whether he lives by your faith or not, theres your answer.

  • Belinda Gonzalez says:

    I feel sad because I to have my daughter.
    Who is that way, I feel so lost confused.
    Than my son, all I can say is why? God made us but why? My heart is so lost.
    But my son is married & kids but I so feel so lost … my daughter is so lost I pray God helps her my kids are not baptized .. I wish I understand what God what’s us to do when he made us.. feeling lost!!

  • izzy says:

    Religion has always changed with the times so why not change it now. And if that’s how u really feel u don’t really love your brother you don’t respect him and if decides to adopt, good he’s helping a kid in need of help . Isn’t it shallow to hold one to your own belief. Not everyone is going to convert to one way of thinking look at it this way u will go to heaven and most of the world will go to hell for there own be life’s , being gay, not be living in the right for of christianity, or having premarital sex I think these things include most of the world.

  • michael says:

    You must pray for your brother deeply and faithfully to our Lord Jesus,pray for him that he could find the true path and true light,the light of Jesus,offer a mass for him everyday if you can or every sunday,at God’s time miracles will happen,just have strong faith,pray for him always,attend a mass with him too.

  • Maria spano says:

    Be honest ,Explain ,to your Brother ,that You love him ,but GOD ABOVE ,anybody including ,family members ,And Pray for him .if he don’t accept ,and respect your decision ,it’s his problem,, We need to remember ,Jesus ,when he say ,WO loves mother ,father .sister ,brother ,ect ,more than me ‘ is not worth of me’ ,!!if your brother ,fell away from the church ,don’t expect ,to understand ,but don’t feel guilty !! ,P.S. I have relative in my life that they are gay ,they know ,that I love them with all my heart ,but they know very well I don’t support ,their life stile,!! Jesus say hate the sin ,love the sinner ,!!but I won’t ,bend to them ,to say .it’s okey ,to sin .they are in my daily prayers ,GOD BLESS YOU ,

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