It is very baffling how selfish some of us can be, how we constantly think about ourselves, and even in those periods when we’re expected to either console those in pain or own up to our mistakes and make up for them we still continue to think about ourselves.
It is a pity that this ruins a lot of relationships, renders humility difficult and unity which is a fruit of the latter becomes impossible. It is one thing to think about ourselves when we’re supposed to, when we’ve been really hurt by those we love, we have the right to complain then, to speak out and complain respectfully so that they understand how we think and feel, so that they console us, so that they take correction and never repeat. And it’s another thing to frown when we are corrected, when we’re told of our misdeed no matter how gently when we don’t get everything our way.
It is worthwhile to fight this when we discover them in ourselves, it is important to withdraw within ourselves from time to time, tearing down that fence that shields us from The Truth, that hides us in our own shadows, our own lies. To rediscover ourselves again, letting that Light reveal our wounds and initiate the healing process which can take up to a whole lifetime.
Yes, some of the habits we’ve been used to might not vanish in a day (they could by God’s special miracle) but need constant effort from us. When I discover I am quick-tempered, I can still be married to a woman who understands me, and I MUST always own up to my flaws, apologize sincerely, and accept the support of my spouse in order to become a better Husband to her. Once I keep on trying to be better, acknowledging my flaws and making efforts to grow, and once she’s not judgmental, but sincerely acknowledges her flaws too, gives me her sincere apologies when she hurts me, and accepts my help to become better for me, then we have a life together. Anything short of this is chaos.
I have been with both the selfish and the selfless, I honestly do not even know where I belong. But I know that my constant desire to be better and my ease in accepting my mistakes make my healing possible makes me capable of a healthy relationship and makes me capable of growing every day.
Learn to be humble, it does not make you appear weak or foolish, it rather shows your maturity and self-control, and a humble man is a King!