Should I convert to Catholicism if I believe it to be true, even though it could hurt my marriage?

Full Question

After years of study and prayer, I have become convicted of the truth of the Catholic faith. My wife of 25 years has told me that if I convert, it will damage our marriage and drive a wedge between us. Will I be condemned if the Holy Spirit has convicted me, yet I fail to convert because I want to save my marriage?


In Matthew 10:37, Jesus says, “Anyone who prefers father or mother to me is not worthy of me. Anyone who prefers son or daughter to me is not worthy of me.” In other words, anyone who is his follower cannot prefer anyone to him. Tell your wife that you cannot be truly honest with her if you are not honest with him. No one wants a spouse that is living a lie. No one has the right to demand that a spouse betray his conscience. Friend, eternity is a long, long time. With his last breath Jesus gave his all for you. He has invited you to give your all to him. Besides, only he knows how this will ultimately affect your wife for the good.


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  1. I’m thinking of converting, too, and worry about how my decision will affect my relationship with my JW mother, who was raised in the Uniting Church, when I tell her. Any suggestions?

    • Pray, pray, and pray. Place your faith in The Lord and he will solve your problem. I am a convert to the Catholic Church and my mother did not like the choice I made but in the end it is our personal choice in faith. Going through RCIA was the best choice I ever made. I am proud and happy to be Catholic. May The Lord be with you,

  2. I’m a revert, I was away from my Catholic faith for 30 years. I knew I needed something, so I went to church Disneyland. The minute I walked into my old Catholic Church, I knew I was home…my husband is not Catholic. I’ve gotten deeper into my faith than ever before, and so far, my husband is dealing with it. I know you should not allow anything to interfere with your marriage, but I know now I could never give up the Eucharist.

  3. You should listen to Scott Hahns story of conversion, I am sure it would help! Invite your spouse to sit in on the RCIA process, just to listen, no one will force her into anything!

  4. In my opinion I don’t think closeness to God will destroy your marriage, if there was already God in it.. But in this case, I suggest your conversion should be done with caution, carrying your family along every step of the way and not forcing them to accept your decision.
    The most important thing is to be Christ like and in doing so, I assume they will get attracted to what you are attracted to.
    I am sure God would not want the choice of denomination breaking a marriage. Its just to sacred.

  5. God is amazing and will not fail you! My agnostic husband embraced Catholicism after miracles performed during our struggles with faith! God bless you and your wife!

  6. I really cannot see a problem in all your problems? I am born and bred RomanCatholic: my husband of fifty years was HC OF E; he is RC now and no complaints. Our eldest son married a Metodist: they seem to be happy.Two of my daughters married a HC of E (one of them) and a Lutheran (the other). Both their husbands are now RC and everyone is happy. Our youngest son is about to marry a lapsed RC: we are all praying indeed, but no ‘big deal’; God created us FREE and personally I’d rather have ‘a nothing’ than a RC that does not MEAN it! – I have read Scott Hahan’s boks: he is REALLY GOD!, is he not? and so human & entertaining; I loved it.

  7. I agree “Rome Sweet Home” by Scott & Kimberling Hahn is an excellent choice book for this situation. I might also suggest, “Surprised by Truth” by Patrick Madrid. It’s a collection of powerful conversion stories. (There are three books in the series but I like the first one best.)

  8. I agree with above answer and the above comments carry a lot of advice and blessings. Don’t fear when you have God in your being and this journey that you are considering will teach true unconditional love. God bless.

  9. Any person with an appreciation of morality will reconsider Catholicism after reading “Be Revolutionary: Some thoughts from Pope Francis.” It knits together the importance of family, the worship of money, the protection of species, trickle-down economics, the war industry, the importance of the elderly, the dignity of poverty, and so much more.

  10. I was born Catholic my mummy made me marry a Hindu man and he was not ready to convert at that time. After twenty years he bacame catholic, with is own will and also he made my children baptized. Now my son got married to catholic girl she made my son to leave his old parents, she is telling our church is telling leave your old parents and let them die alone no need to stay around them. Our church father also told my son before marriage now new queen came in your life, so you have to give her a new palace and take complete care of her and only her happiness. No need of staying with your old parents. So my son have done that, he left us when we are in our old is age.This our Catholic Church teaching which is really disheartening.
    We already have many oldage homes compared to Hindus and I have never seen Islam oldage homes. But our Church has to build many more old age homes because of this teaching in the marriage preparatary course itself.

    Disheartened Parents

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Written by Raphael Benedict

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