What are the implications of divorce for my family?

By March 22, 2015 5 Comments

Full Question

My wife and I are considering divorce after a long and unloving period of our relationship. She considers us roommates. The reason we haven’t divorced is that she couldn’t live alone on her salary plus trying to raise our son. She is unwilling to go to counseling. What are the implications of divorce for practicing Catholics? Can we still receive the sacraments? Where can I learn about the annulment process?


The loser here is your son. I would think long and hard before inflicting a divorce on him. You and your wife chose to marry each other. He didn’t choose to be born. He deserves a home with a mother and a father. I’m not trying to lay a guilt trip on you. These are simply the facts. If it is absolutely impossible for the two of you to remain together, then the Church allows civil divorce for the equitable division of goods that have been held in common. I know of an instance where the child remained in the home and the parents would alternate every other week living there so that the child wouldn’t be shuttled here and there for the rest of his childhood. I commend the parents for obviously being more concerned about him than about themselves. If you do separate you may both receive the sacraments so long as you are in the state of grace. But you are still married, and dating other people is out of the question unless and until you are able to have the marriage annulled. This book will give you all that you need to know about annulments: Annulments and the Catholic Church by Edward Peters, available on shop.catholic.com or by phone: 888 291 8000.


  • Maria says:

    I would suggest to look at your marriage as the sacrament that it is, and know that feelings is not always the same it goes up and it goes down, its our will that keeps us faithful, to God, to our Marriage, to our family, to our Church.
    Try to place yourself before God and ask him for help, To be able to love your spouse again with your whole heart, mind and strength. I believe both of you need to forgive one another for all the hurt and the unloving heart you had for each other. And start over with a firm purpose to love each other as God would want you both to love each other for the sake of both of you and your family. To bring each other to heaven. Divorce hurts everyone, especially children no matter how smooth you try to make it. Life is short, and we don’t know how long we have in this world, so we should pray and learn more about God. I recommend watching EWTN they have changed lives, making people grow closer to God. Me and my husband will make 40 years of marriage this year. It’s because of the commitment and commandment that we are still married.
    Hope this helps you.

  • Anonymous says:


  • Haries Sankaradhas says:

    Family prayers makes a lot of difference. Sit together and pray. If one of the partners is not coming for prayers, pray alone/with children/parents. Go for confessions. God will give a way out. Do not go for divorce, if you have young children. Always remember the words of Jesus – Let no one divide what God has united.

  • sk says:

    Please keep in mind that when you run out of energy don’t run out of the home. Its a testing time where you both need to pray and ask god for help and forgiveness. You both obviously loved one another to create a family together. Love the person but even if behaviors are driving each of you apart please ask for the divine grace to forgive one another. God will come through and help you. The scripture says “What god has created let no man destroy. ” Believe in the living god that placed you as a family and ask for his love and mercy !

  • Gerald says:

    please go for counselling to marriage encounter or retrovaille.There will be many people there,who have similar experiences to yours,who may be able to guide you.The biggest loser in this will be your son.I am speaking from experience.Pray,pray,pray and God will give both of you the grace to look at your differences from a different perspectives.Half the problem are egos and pride.God bless you.

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