Walking with God; a birthday reflection

By October 1, 2014 4 Comments

After my initial conversion some years ago, i joined a monastery, hoping to dedicate my life entirely to God in prayer. (Though i couldn’t continue because my health got terribly bad, the novice master had to let me leave.)
While i was there, during our evening meditation on Fridays, I’d come outside, stand on a cliff overlooking a River at a distance. There I’d lift my whole soul to Jesus, once in a while I’d “sense” his presence, very strong and powerful love it was, walking with him, and learning things from his Spirit. Indeed it felt like walking around in a garden with a lover, my heart would beat faster and would sometimes burn and hurt (no wonder i have a heart condition ! lol). It was indeed a sweet experience. In a single gaze i would see the shortness of life, the foolishness of self-gratification, the evil of sin, and the grandeur of holiness, I’d understand why the Saints loved so much. The whole experience was too sweet that when i left, i thought i could not survive. The Saints loved because the experience is somewhat addictive; you could never get enough of this love !
When i laid down to sleep in my “cell” (room), I’d think about my Beloved Jesus, whom i just communed with in the Blessed Sacrament during Compline (Night Prayer) in the Chapel (Which is called “Choir”). I’d think of Mary, whose song i closed the prayers with, and whose statue was the last I’d see before i left the Choir every night.
My heart felt like exploding !
Then I’d write little love-letters/poems to Jesus and Mary, professing my love and pledging to be faithful until the end. When i was consecrated, i wore a wedding ring, signifying my bond with Mary; a bond i promised never to break; promised never to profess love for a woman (because of my Religious vocation, professing love isn’t sinful for those who wish to marry).
So you may understand now, the one behind the creation of this page is INSANE ! Jesus drove me nuts with love. This is why i always wonder why people do not fall in love with him. He is too sweet !
He has surprised me in numerous occasions, has been faithful to his word, has made tantalizing promises to me (and i won’t tell you, lol), has taken care of me, has JEALOUSLY protected me.
What else can a soul wish for? What love is it? what sin is it? what gain is it that can surpass what the Lord has in store for those who would say “YES” and live up to it; those who would run to Mary our Mother, BOND WITH HER, and through her intercession be “spoilt” with so much grace and so much love. I invite you to this love-relationship with Jesus and Mary, nothing can be sweeter than it ! Trust me, nothing is sweeter ! I have tasted worldly love in the past, and now that God has filled me with something sweeter, the other love feels like drinking vinegar compared with the pure wine of God’s love !
May the Lord set your heart ablaze with this beautiful love !


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