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True Love; Eros and Agape

By October 2, 2014 One Comment

True marital love is first of all a pure childlike love for another, a friendship that surpasses all. It is a trust in the intentions behind their smiles, their gestures, their words of encouragement and correction. It is a trust and filial submission to the other in a love so pure and total.
Eros is also an important element, however this form of love as sexual expression is completed by Agape, the love described above as pure friendship and selfless love. A marital partner should love the other for no particular reason, should love the other because of who they are. When that love has a reason, then the love shifts from a “who” to a “What”. i.e. this love changes from “love for the Person” to “love for a quality in the person”. The risk in this is, when that quality fades or disappears, the love dies with them. When you love your husband because he’s rich and witty, your love suffers when he suffers financial problems or is depressed for long because of some problem. When you love your wife because of her beauty and “shape”, what happens when she begins to grow old, or when she begins to give birth and sustains notable bodily changes?
When our love is primarily bodily and sexual, and secondarily a friendship and childlike trust, then the love suffers when we do not “get what we fantasize about”. But when everything is rooted in this pure friendship, we can hope to have a hand when we need it, to have those faithful feet walk miles with us in our struggles, to have a heart to beat for us when we’re weak, and to have a mouth to console us with words and presence when we’re broken. It’ll be a love that pours out without measure for who we are.
I pray that all lovers give of what they have without fear, with faithful hearts, and without any expectations. Indeed, this love may seem impossible, but its already great progress to struggle to become perfect in giving. Sometimes our perfection does not lie in actually being perfect, but in struggling sincerely to be perfect. Our perfection is in our failure, our owning up, our apologies, our struggles to do better, our general fight to become better people, to reflect Christ the more in our lives. God does not overlook this struggle.
May the Almighty God bless your love-relationships as you struggle to live up to his expectations. May he make your love fruitful and properly ordered towards one another. Amen.

One Comment

  • Marian Sharaf Joseph says:

    An interesting article – and the concept explained so simply that it makes it easy for anyone to understand.

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